Open letter to Nepal TV

To Whom It May Concern,

Firstly, may I begin by complimenting you on the excellent range of programs you make available to the people of Nepal on a daily basis. I am a visitor to your country and am not fluent in Nepali, but I find this to be no barrier to my enjoyment of the material you present. The many slap-stick comedy shows, for example, make such ingenious and prevalent use of sound effects (my favourites being the ‘boing’ of surprise and the ‘quack-quack’ of disappointed revelation), that I am never left wondering when it would be appropriate to laugh, or on whose face the egg is, often literally, left. The equally subtle facial expressions used by your fine ensemble of comedic actors is also much appreciated. The vast number of emotions that may be conveyed by a dramatic widening of the eyes, accompanied by an extreme close-up, is not to be underestimated.
Similarly, your dramatic shows are to be applauded for their employment of clever devices which are of universal appeal, such as characteristic mannerisms, like the habitual wiping of a nose or clicking of fingers, so that the viewer is left in no doubt as to who the villain is. Likewise, the hero of the piece is sure to be accompanied by a slow-motion entrance and sudden surge in background music. All very helpful.

But, I digress.

The purpose of this missive is to draw your attention to a rather glaring and irksome feature of your nightly news program. I refer to the graphic display deployed behind the studio presenters, which seems to permanently and prominently display an illustration of the continent of Africa, viz.

I have nothing against Africa, on the whole, but I confess I find it very odd that a national television studio would choose to permanently show another part of the world.
In short, Sir, why not Nepal?
It seems to me a matter of national pride and identity and I have struggled for some time to imagine a reason for the apparent oversight. Initially I thought the studio simply showed a different part of the world each night. Highly educative for the audience, no doubt, and to be commended as a policy. Imagine my surprise when, after 5 months, I discovered the depiction of Africa to be a permanent feature.
Perhaps, I mused, it is due to a technical issue? Though modern technology, due to its sheer complexity, is susceptible to all manner of problems, it is difficult to imagine a glitch persisting for so long, or going unnoticed by all except me, a mere tourist.
Sheer oversight? I do not wish to impugn the collective intelligence of your employees by pointing out that Nepal is located, approximately, at latitude 28° North and Longitude 85° East and lies between the nations of India and China. On your current graphic, this would place Nepal somewhere approximately five metres to the left, and two above, the presenter’s left ear.

No, I am left with the conclusion that this state of affairs is due to budget constraints. Fortunately, I am not insensitive to such financial limitations and have gone to some length to offer a solution. My associate, Mr Arnish Lamichhane, and I have taken the liberty of assembling an alternative display system. Please refer below.

This system is very cost-effective, adaptable and low maintenance. We have only shown the basic, monochrome version but a full range of colours can be incorporated at very little extra cost.
The versatility of this apparatus is demonstrated with the aid of Messrs Deepak and Bharat Lamichhane (below). A scrolling line of ‘breaking news’ or other updates can be easily introduced.

This display system has the added advantage of also being eminently suited to serve as a back-drop to a weather presentation. Here, the lovely Misses Melina and Anju Lamichhane demonstrate the versatility of our solution in just such a manner.

I hope you find our suggestions of some help. My team and I would be more than willing to assist with the implementation of this technology, should the need arise. We can be contacted care of the Nandumaya Self-sustaining Orphan Home, Phutung, Kathmandu.

Respectfully yours,

A. Dick